Sportress of Blogitude


Remember Jared Lorenzen? Well, He’s Large And In Charge In Something Called The UIFL

Holy moly! Look at the size of that guy! And he’s playing quarterback, for crying out loud. Granted, Jared Lorenzen never was a prototypical quarterback, even back when he made his mark as the signal caller for the University of Kentucky Wildcats, as well as the few nondescript seasons he spent with the New York Giants after going undrafted in the 2004 NFL draft.

But now, Lorenzen is back in football, large and in charge. Originally hired to be the general manager for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters, a first year team in the regional Ultimate Indoor Football League, Lorenzen got the itch to play football competitively again and now, according to an article on (via BuzzFeed), “leads the UIFL in passing yards (256.6 yards per game) and efficiency (107.1 rating), and he is second with 69 touchdown passes.” Oh, and the team roster page on the River Monsters’ website¬† has his weight at 290 pounds. Yeah, right. Maybe on the moon.

Either way, it’s pretty awesome that Lorenzen is enjoying his post-big time professional football career. And he obviously isn’t doing it for the money. On average, players in the UIFL take home $200/week, with some quarterbacks bringing in closer to $500. But Lorenzen? Playing in front of smaller crowds – although averaging 1,600 fans per game is pretty impressive for an upstart “minor league” football organization, he’s loving it:

“We’re still doing things the right way,” said Lorenzen. “… I think the fans are getting behind us. It’s just a joy. The stuff we do, like the autograph signings after games, you’ve got the fans here and we’re here to make it entertaining for them. Indoor football is entertainment and a football game just happens to break out. That’s how I look at it.

Right on, Jared Lorenzen. May you continue to feast upon opposing defenses’ secondaries in the UIFL like I bet you can do when bellying up to an all-you-can-eat dinner buffet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

With Lorenzen, River Monsters aim to become N.Ky.’s team [ (via BuzzFeed)]