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Wake N’ Blog: Human Version Of Oscar The Grouch Narrowly Escapes Death By Compactor

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• A homeless man living in a large dumpster nearly died after he was dumped into a garbage truck and crushed by the vehicle’s compactor. Fortunately, the Waste Management driver heard the man’s pleas for help and halted the compactor. [azcentral]

• High school swim team coach pulls girl out of pool by the hair. Yeah, this won’t end well. [Off the Bench]

• Dwight Howard heading west and joining the Lakers is pretty much an inevitability. [The Basketball Jones]

• Rise and fire! It’s official: Gus Johnson is headed to FOX. [Awful Announcing]

• Scottie Pippen got busted for littering? [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• The Seattle Sounders allow their fans to live like refugees. [Deuce of Davenport]

• The guys have some fun with Photoshop and an already awkward Peter King photo. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Nine great photos from the Kentucky Derby. [Busted Coverage]

• A Slip-And-Slide at the San Diego Hot 100 Bikini Contest? Color me intrigued. [Bob’s Blitz]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Slow-Working Pitcher Really Getting Inside Head Of Kid In Crowd Who Needs To Go To The Bathroom