Responding To A Headline: Don’t Believe Them, Uncle Mo!
Obviously, since we are all horse racing aficionados – at least when the Kentucky Derby rolls around (although even then, I’m doing it solely for the 48-hour binge on Mint Juleps) – the colt Uncle Mo was pulled from the Derby due to a diagnosed infection. Now comes news that his owners are sending him to a farm to receive what they refer to as “treatment.”
Don’t believe them, Uncle Mo! It’s a lie. A gosh-darned lie! Bust out of the trailer, or barn, or whatever enclosure you are currently being house in and run, run like the wind! It’s exactly the same thing my parents told me when I woke up one morning to find out that Puddles, our dog with a disturbingly active bladder control problem, was gone. “We took him to a farm upstate where he could receive treatment for an infection,” they told me. Yeah, right. I, like many other children whose pets have mysteriously disappeared under the cover of night, learned later that what I have been told was not really what happens. The point is this: if Uncle Mo makes it to that farm, he ain’t ever coming back. And now I need some more Mint Juleps to calm my nerves. I’m literally shaking right now, although that could just be the DTs. I drank a lot of those damn drinks this weekend.
Uncle Mo Is Sent to Farm for Treatment [New York Times]