Sportress of Blogitude

Jared Allen Doesn’t Get The Kids These Days, Consarn It!

"Find your happy place, Jared."

While only 29-years-old himself, Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen has an old soul, which doesn’t help with his assessment of damn kids these days. Allen appeared on Phoenix radio station KTAR with Doug and Wolf and discussed a multitude of issues, including his perceptions regarding the recent NFL Draft and how he felt about the players getting all chummy with Commissioner Roger Goodell. And that’s when Allen let loose on the youth of today (via Sports Radio Interviews):

“I think the bigger disappointment was to see the jewelry on these kids’ arms and ears. Are you kidding me? You haven’t played a down in the league yet and thousands and thousands of dollars on these kids arms and I’m like you guys understand you’re getting drafted into a lockout where you don’t know what rules you’re playing under or how much money you possibly might get.”

Damn kids, what with their hippity hop music and complicated shoes. Now, I don’t know Allen personally, but if I were one of these kids coming into the league, I would be very careful around the sackmaster and for goodness sake, STAY OFF HIS LAWN, DAMMIT!

Jared Allen on the Draft: “I think the bigger disappointment was to see the jewelry on these kids’ arms and ears. Are you kidding me?” [Sports Radio Interviews]