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Wake N’ Blog: One New Jersey Town Has Had Enough Of Chickens Screwing All The Time

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• New Jersey’s Hopewell Township has adopted an ordinance limiting when and how often roosters and hens can make eggs, as the saying goes, due to the excessive noise roosters make when they’re getting their “beak on.” Since chicken screwing isn’t the most interesting topic – among non-bestiality practitioners – I believe this YouTube video is more than apropos in this particular instance. [msnbc]

• Barry Bonds visited Bryan Stow in the hospital? That’s pretty cool. [Larry Brown Sports]

• All signs point toward the Carolina Panthers taking Cam Newton with the first overall pick in the draft. [Rumors & Rants]

• Bruins announcer Jack Edwards postgame comments were slightly odd. Make that incredibly odd. [Ted Williams Head]

• Here’s video of the Dodgers’ Andre Ethier cussing himself out and we can hear it because there is virtually nobody in Florida’s stadium. [Vin Scully Is My Homeboy]

• Albert Haynesworth: champion of interracial relationships. [Deuce of Davenport]

• Ozzie Guillen was ejected during the first inning of yesterday’s White Sox game. While that’s not surprising, the fact that he tweeted about it moments later is interesting. [Foul Balls]

• Peyton Hills is your new Madden CoverGrinder. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Check out this St. Louis Cardinals fan digging for gold, apparently to the horror of his old lady. [Busted Coverage]

• Holy crazy table tennis highlights, Batman! [Bob’s Blitz]

• Behind the scenes at 9 famous NFL Draft moments. [Sports Pickle]

• Girls in NFL jerseys, hot pants and knee-high boots, anyone? [BuzzFeed]

• Check out the latest hot items in NFL Draft Swag! [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Trump Unable To Produce Certificate Proving He’s Not A Festering Pile Of S**t