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Wake N’ Blog: Man Pees On Cough Drops When He Can’t Get Prescription Filled At Walgreens

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• He’s angry, he play joke, he go pee-pee on your…cough drops? Police are on the lookout for a man who, when he could not get his prescription filled at a Florida Walgreens, decided to seek revenge by relieving himself on some packages of cough drops, causing $300 damage. Said Sgt. David Morgenstern of the Sanford (FL) Police Department: “He went to the pharmacy and tries to get a prescription but doesn’t have the right paperwork. That’s OK, at times you won’t have the right things, but he does not appear to be drunk or intoxicated. I don’t know what the problem is, but he needed something, like he needs to go to jail for what he did. But he may need help because why would you urinate in Walgreens on cough drops?” Great question, sergeant. The answer? I have no earthly idea. [msnbc]

• Joakim Noah’s sister Yelena is a model. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Rex Ryan’s new book sure sounds like a whole heaping pile of fun. [Rumors & Rants]

• Ron Artest is officially a good person. [The Basketball Jones]

• English soccer: kids invade pitch, punch goalie in the head. Bloody hell. [Off the Bench]

• Herr Goodell reveals to us the dire future of football if the players win. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Man, these Phillies fans wearing cheesesteak hats and Mexican wrestling masks make Packers fans appear well-adjusted. [Busted Coverage]

• Ten Babe Ruth facts every baseball fan should know. [College Crunch]

• Awesome: Ryan Rayburn pulled a Jose Canseco in the outfield yesterday. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Jimmer Fredette is getting a reality show? [The Last Angry Fan]

• Photos: UFC’s Arianny Celeste went swimming. [Bob’s Blitz]

• A flowchart depicting how a pro athlete goes about getting a question answered. [Sports Pickle]

• The worst draft night outfits in sports history. [Unathletic]

The Onion Headline of the Day: If I Could Have Any Superpower, It’d Definitely Be Invisibility (By Superman)