Sportress of Blogitude

Who’s A Raiders Fan, Likes Meth, G-Strings And Wears A Genital Scrunchie? This Guy!

Sometimes, stories come through the interwebs that are so outrageously bizarre and disturbingly amusing that to not at the very least make mention of them would be a tremendous disservice to the blog-reading society-at-large. And this is one of them.

Folks, this is Shawn Batie, a 42-year-old meth addict from California who was picked up by police last Friday night while wearing only an Oakland Raiders football jacket, socks, a g-string and a hair scrunchie wrapped around his genitals. He was outside a cemetery holding a flashlight and screaming obscenities. Did I mention he was high on meth? I did? Good. And who knew a scrunchie could be used as some kind of makeshift testicle sling/supporter? Not me.

The grisly details, via The Daily Mail:

When officers asked Batie why he wasn’t wearing pants, he simply stated: ‘They must have been taken,’ police said.

After arresting him on suspicion of being under the influence, Batie became uncooperative.

At the jail it was discovered that he was also a parolee at-large, police said.

Once at the jail, Batie proceeded to smear his faeces on the walls. He was moved to a safety cell after the incident, police said.

‘It’s kind of humorous, but… you wonder what’s going on with this guy,’ Lieutenant Steven Price said. ‘What’s going on with his life [where] you end up running around half naked in the night yelling at people that don’t exist?’

Just when I thought Batie’s behavior couldn’t get any more outlandish and drug-addled, he goes and smears poop all over his cell’s walls…and totally redeems himself! I mean relieves himself.

The best part? Al Davis just hired this guy as the Raiders strength and conditioning coach. To be perfectly frank, if that were true, that would be the part of this odd story that would make the most sense.

Crystal meth addict arrested wearing just an Oakland Raiders jacket, a G-string and a hair scrunchie around his genitals [The Daily Mail]
[H/T Off the Bench]