Sportress of Blogitude

Off Topic

Animal Rights Activists Now Infringing Upon Our Rights To Race Goldfish In Bars

If it wasn’t bad enough that I am not allowed to wear fur or club baby seals for sport (Best. Vacation. Ever.), now those blasted animal rights activists are successfully depriving us of the enjoyment of the sport of goldfish racing. Where’s it going to end? Tell me!

The troubling details, via an AP report on msnbc:

The weekly gold fish races at a Tacoma bar are canceled after it received complaints from animal rights activists.

Every Tuesday night the Harmon Tap Room would feature races in which cheap feeder fish from a pet store were “raced” down two 8-foot troughs. Racers guided the fish with squirt bottles.

Bartender Joel Cummings told KIRO-FM the fish were cared for when they weren’t racing but occasionally they would pass away.

Squirt bottles? The barbarism of it all! But these animal rights activist bozos have to look at this in an entirely different (and some may say humane) way: these were feeder fish, as in they were going to be fed to a person’s pet piranha or even worse, somebody’s “different” uncle. At least these fish got to live, dammit. They got the opportunity to race, to compete, to win. And so what that some died during the thrill of the competition. Seriously, how long do goldfish live on their own to begin with? Three, four days tops? No, this doesn’t sit well with me. All I know is the goldfish I had when I was a wee lad, Bubbles, would have smoked any of these so-called professional racing goldfish. Smoked them like a salmon.

Full disclosure: I have never worn fur nor have I clubbed baby seals for sport. We used foam mallets. Very humane. And still a great trip.

Complaints end goldfish racing at Wash. state bar [msnbc]
(images of Harmon Tap Room goldfish races via)