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Wake N’ Blog: Postman Gets Poopy On Postal Route

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• A mailman has been suspended from his position with the U.S. Postal Service after he was photographed taking a dump in a person’s yard during his route. Don Derfler home watching his son when he witnessed the mailman dropping trou and relieving himself. “He started pulling his pants down and started defecating, and at that point I grabbed my camera and started to take pictures,” said Derfler. Added Derfler: “Nature calls at inopportune times.” But jeez, go back to your rig and find a gas station for crying out loud.” Indeed. That’s the straight s**t, my friend. [msnbc]

• Victor Ortiz wore a killer sombrero into the ring for his match against Andre Berto. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Stick a fork in JaMarcus Russell. He’s done. [With Leather]

• An autographed Houston Oilers helmet has sold $2 million at auction. [Off the Bench]

• The Seattle Mariners might have to trade Felix Hernandez. [Rumors & Rants]

• Time to say bye-bye to the worst 3rd jersey in the NHL. [Puck Daddy]

• Two Houston Texans hopefuls aim to become the first Jewish cheerleading twins in NFL history. [Busted Coverage]

• What other MLB players would look like with Coco Crisp’s killer Afro. [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Ethicists Update List Of Acceptable Things To Masturbate To