Sportress of Blogitude

Shocking: B**ch-Slapped Parking Valet Suing LeBron James’ Mom

Rockfeller Sorel, the parking valet who was allegedly verbally abused and physically assaulted by Gloria James, the mother of  Lebron James, filed a lawsuit earlier this week in Miami-Dade County against LeBron’s mother. I admit this is somewhat old news now and you have likely become aware of some of the details by now, but I was off yesterday and haven’t had the opportunity to comment on one aspect of the story: the reasons behind why Sorel and his attorney are seeking damages in excess of $15,000.

Among the claims, according to The Miami Herald: ever since the incident, Sorel has experienced “emotional distress, humiliation, mental anguish,” and most importantly, “the loss of capacity for enjoyment of life.”

Wait. You’re telling me that you can actually sue people who cause you to lose the ability to enjoy your life? That gives me an idea…

(begins drafting initial paperwork to file a lawsuit against every single moron I come into contact with every single day of my life)

Damn. This ain’t going to work. I have to start taking the names down of all the mouthbreathers who piss me off with their idiotic behavior. Well, at least I have a decent Summons & Complaint boilerplate partially prepared. Now all I have to do is insert names and press print. Litigation is pending, suckers!

Valet allegedly struck by LeBron’s mom seeks money in lawsuit [The Miami Herald]