Breaking: Eliza Dushku Cheating On Rick Fox With Wally The Green Monster
Man, look how shocked Eliza Dusku looks. She probably realized at that very instant the secret about her and Wally the Green Monster’s torrid love affair was about to go public. Wally, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind much. This ain’t his first rodeo, if you know what I mean (lest we forget the real reason behind the breakup of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez – yeah, he hit that – I’m talking about Ben, of course). In any event, damn paparazzi with their obsessive stalking of B-list celebrities. Don’t they have anything better to do?
Hey, I’ll admit the Boston Red Sox mascot is a particularly handsome fellow – and quite the romanticizing lothario, I have heard – but come on, Miss Eliza Dushku: how could you? I know, I know, your acting career is in the toilet – although she will be starring with Damon Wayans in that show based upon Colin Cowherd’s radio show (like I said, in the toilet) – and with every passing day, the arduous death march towards advancing age – not to mention a complete lack of talent – is bringing you closer and closer to complete irrelevancy, but I really thought you and Rick Fox had something special. Sure, Rick is 11 years your elder and apparently has some serious issues with managing his perspiration, but nailing mascots? Even for you that’s pretty desperate.