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Wake N’ Blog: We Can All Feel Safer Now That The Vacuum Bandit Is In Custody

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• Police in Lincoln, Nebraska have finally arrested the rogue vacuum bandit, who used a vacuum – hence the moniker “vacuum bandit” – to suck quarters out of coin-operated laundry machines in apartments. 40-year-old William Logan would bring a vacuum in a backpack into the laundry room, pry open the coin tray and suck up his prized booty. Now that’s ingenuity right there, although I have to dock him a few points if he wasn’t using a Dyson. Cyclone technology, bitches. [msnbc]

• Wild video of a tornado touching down in the middle of a youth soccer game in China. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Hey look: Phillies fans are picking up right where they left off last season. [Off the Bench]

• Check out this brawl in the stands during a Mexico-Venezuela soccer match. [Busted Coverage]

• Today’s edition of The Dugout features Manny Ramirez and his fellow Tampa Bay Rays. [With Leather]

• Andruw Jones chased a ball into foul territory and onion rings rained down upon him for the effort. [Big League Stew]

• Overnight storms knocked down trees at Augusta National. [Devil Ball Golf]

• ESPN’s response to Jalen Rose’s arrest causes more questions to arise. [Awful Announcing]

• Steve Nash was wearing the wrong shorts at tipoff of Suns-Bulls game. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Ha: the Jim Tressel Tattoo & Pawn shirt. [Bob’s Blitz]

• You won’t believe what Sean Foley has Tiger Woods wearing to fix his swing. [TAUNTR]

• How the four major sports will look when they go global. [Unathletic]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Opinion: Goddamn It, The Neighbors Are Silently Going At It Again, I Imagine (by Harold Rowland)