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Wake N’ Blog: Overreact Much? Doctor Tries To Run Over Smoker

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• Fifty-four-year-old Dallas physician Jeffrey Thompson is facing a felony charge of aggravated assault with a motor vehicle after he attempted to run over a man he allegedly saw smoking a cigarette near his car. The horrible, horrible person who smokes a perfectly legal product, 48-year-old Donald Zuelly reported that Thompson informed him that he couldn’t smoke in the parking garage, ripped the cigarette out of Zuelly’s mouth. When some soda Zuelly was holding spilled on the good doctor’s pants, Thompson hopped into his car and attempted to run him over. Damn smokers. They’re the lowest of the low. Who are they to think that they have the right to not be run down by a psychopathic, self-righteous doctor who wants to run them over with their car after they were caught smoking a perfectly legal product outdoors. Smokers. Aren’t they the worst? [azcentral]

• Rob Parker and Skip Bayless said what about Chad Ochocinco on First Take? [Awful Announcing]

• In case you missed it, LeBron James skipped pregame introductions during the Heat-Cavs game last night. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• The top 10 reasons James skipped pregame introductions. [Five Tool Tool]

• Why Patrick Kane is the next American hockey hero. [Puck Daddy]

• The Babes preview the Cleveland Indians with their customary haiku stylings. [Babes Love Baseball]

• “THE FIESTA BOWL IS AN AWESOME CESSPIT OF CORRUPTION.” Now that’s a compelling headline. [EDSBS]

• Another second day of the work week means another edition of “Tuesdays with Morrissey.” Excellent. [Melt Your Face Off]

• Five celebrity chicks who would make great sideline reporters. [Unathletic]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Report: At Least 14 Different Types Of Animals Crawl On You While You Sleep