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Wake N’ Blog: I Can’t Drive Warp Factor 5? Sammy Hagar Claims He Was Abducted By Aliens

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• During an interview with MTV to promote his new book, Red: My Uncensored Life In Rock (is that an Oprah book), rocker Sammy Hagar (you have to always preface Sammy Hagar’s name with “rocker,” just like you have to for Bret Michaels) claims he was abducted by aliens. A passage in the book reports the alien encounter as a dream, but Hagar insists it was real: “It was real,” Hagar told the reporter, according to the story on MTV’s Hive website. “They were plugged into me. It was a download situation … Or, they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment.” Let us all pray for the alien lifeforms who felt Sammy Hagar’s brain was worthy of uploading or downloading or whatever. [Yahoo!]

• Recapping the best and the worst from the opening week of the NCAA Tournament. [The Dagger]

• Pro golfer Stewart Cink’s Twitter account was hacked. [Wei Under Par]

• Rays manager Joe Maddon had an Orioles fan removed from a spring training game for alleged racist comments directed at B.J. Upton. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Toronto Raptors rookie Ed Davis was the victim of a car-related prank courtesy of Raptors veterans. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• This outfit donned by a VCU band member is all kinds of wrong. [Busted Coverage]

• In case you missed it over the weekend, here’s Andrew Bynum’s vicious takedown of Michael Beasley from the Lakers-T-Wolves game. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Finally, a sports game for both whores and sluts! [Tirico Suave]

• Heh: “Pitino to tournament: ‘I don’t usually finish this quickly, I swear’” [TAUNTR]

• It’s never too early to get the lowdown regarding the announcing schedule for Sweet 16 action. [Awful Announcing]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Microsoft Word Now Includes Squiggly Blue Line To Alert Writer When Word Is Too Advanced For Mainstream Audience