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Wake N’ Blog: To The Man Who Used A Sword To Rob Pharmacy, I Dub Thee ‘Drugstore Ninja’

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• A man in Virginia has been arrested after attempting to rob the same pharmacy twice in one day, once while wielding a sword. Michael Edward Towler, 27, has been charged with robbery, brandishing a weapon and attempted robbery. The pharmacist on duty told police that when Towler returned to attempt to rob the pharmacy again, he was wearing a lime green rain coat and was armed with a three-foot long sword. Towler made off with an undisclosed amount of narcotics but was arrested at his home a short time later. Word on the street is Matt Dillon is angling to portray Towler in a yet-to-be-green-lighted film, Drugstore Ninja, just as long as Gus Van Sant is the director. (Rest in peace, William S. Burroughs) [Yahoo!]

• After the Lakers lost to the Heat last night, Kobe Bryant returned to the court to practice. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Four-second soccer goal? Four-second soccer goal. [With Leather]

• Be sure to you’re checking in with the gals over at BLB as they are rolling out their unique season previews. [Babes Love Baseball]

• Phil Jackson compared the way the Miami Heat play basketball to an XBox game. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Habs owner Geoff Molson has written a letter to Montreal fans regarding the Max Pacioretty hit. [Puck Daddy]

• Debating the finer points of fan jersey etiquette. [The Basketball Jones]

• Man training for Los Angeles Marathon will only eat McDonald’s during the 30 days leading up the race. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Rick has some pointers for those of you desperately trying to win your NCAA Tourney office pool. [Off the Bench]

• Another informative and entertaining edition of KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• What the Miami Heat are doing now that they’re not watching television. [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Food Critic’s Wife Makes Best Lasagna She Possibly Can