Sportress of Blogitude

Hockey

For $8,888, You Can Own A Burger King French Fry That Looks Like A Hockey Stick

What the fungus? I’ll give eBay seller koskre8r credit, he doesn’t pussyfoot around when he knows he has an item of great value and previous edibility.

That’s right, he’s trying to sell a bent french fry from Burger King that kind of resembles a hockey stick (or a gym sock, or a chaise lounge if rotated 90 degrees, or a, um, old, dehydrated french fry) for 8,888 smackeroos.

From eBay, his semi-coherent rationale and justification for asking for such an exorbitant amount for a bendy slice of tater (via Puck Daddy):

times are tough and having heard of all the wacky things which have sold for thousands or tens of thousands of dollars on ebay i have such an item of my own to sell. Behold it is my Burger King French Fry Hockey Stick which was in a medium french fry container bought at the drive-thru along with 2 whopper juniors here in Arlington Virginia just outside of Washington, D.C. I grew up playing ice and roller hockey and the instant I saw it i knew what it was, a hockey stick. I guarantee to you 100% that this is absolutely authentic from Burger King and not tampered with in any way, it is 2-1/2 inches long and 1 inch wide. I would assume that processing from a potato to a french fry at the Burger King factory is 85% automated and 15% by people and you have to admit considering quality control standards that if the computers or people had spotted this one it would have been discarded during processing and never made it to me fried and salted because french fries are supposed to be straight although some places sell them curly, but not Burger King, and being shaped like a hockey stick i guess makes it rare and thus worth money, but how much money? I certainly dont know how you could put a price on this but 8 is my lucky number and my buy it now price reflects that. You know i figure if people can sell cheetos and slices of toast or other food items oddly shaped or resembling something else maybe i could sell mine for alot of money too. So come on and make my day, I will ship priority to confirmed address only. I only accept Paypal and will answer all questions ASAP. thanks and just so you know this hockey stick looks just as fresh and delicious today as it did on the day that i bought it.

There is so much awesomeness in that lower case treatise regarding the inherent qualities sought after by savvy sports memorabilia collectors I don’t even know where to begin, although the fact that he suspects that providing a 100% guarantee that the french fry “:…is absolutely authentic from Burger King and not tampered with in any way…” somehow will provide comfort to any potential bidders, of which there are, at the time of the publishing of this post, have been two. Since as far as I can tell,  koskre8r has set an end date of fourteen days out when the bidding time allotted will end, all he has to do is bide his time. Surely, somebody will come along who shares his views on the majestic wonder that is his Burger King French Fry Hockey Stick.

Let me put this question to you guys? What’s the bit here? It’s got to be a joke, right? Or could he possibly be serious? Is it possible that this fellow wholeheartedly believes that his Hockey Stick has value? I choose to believe that this guy really does think someone would buy his Burger King French Fry Hockey Stick. The world needs its dreamers. And people who see artistic beauty in the world where others do not. Further, it sure beats the hell out of the Tater Tot from Sonic I tried to sell which was the absolute spitting image of Martin Brodeur.

[H/T Puck Daddy]