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Do You Want To Know The Terrifying Truth, Or Do You Want To See Charlie Sheen Sock A Few Dingers?

Man, just watching this video of Charlie Sheen hitting a home run at Dodger Stadium makes me want to take the chance and shoot up some Charlie Sheen smack or snort up some Charlie Sheen blow. Unfortunately, according to the man himself, there’s no Charlie Sheen smack nor is there any Charlie Sheen blow available and even if there was some to score on the streets, if I tried it once my face would melt off and my children would weep over my exploded body, so perhaps it’s best I didn’t in the first place. Anyway, I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars, so put that in your crack pipe and smoke it, if that’s your bag. Sorry Middle America. I said it.

Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen hit a home run in 2007 at Dodgers Stadium for a DirecTV commercial. I suppose the hitting of said home run could be construed as a metaphor for him having absolute rocket fuel in his veins. Bitchin’.

[H/T Game On!]