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Frances Farmer Has Had Her Revenge On Seattle…At Least Their Sports Fans

Bonkers the Seahawk Ferret Cannot Believe It!

According to Forbes, that is. The news is out, Seattle- um, -ites (Seattleans? Seattlers?): The Emerald City has been officially named the most miserable sports city in America, narrowly beating out Atlanta for the distinction due to the Sonics’ relocation to Oklahoma City. The remaining Top 5 – or Bottom 5, depending on which way you look at it: 3) Phoenix; 4) Buffalo; and 5) San Diego. Makes sense.

The gist of the justification by Forbes behind why they felt Seattle deserved such an undignified honor:

Since big-time pro sports came to Seattle in 1967, the opportunities for championships have been fairly plentiful. The NBA Sonics made the playoffs 22 times before leaving town in 2008, a run that included six trips to the Western Conference finals and three to the NBA finals. Football’s Seahawks have made it to the postseason 11 times since their 1976 birth, reaching the conference championship game twice and the Super Bowl in 2006. And the Mariners, an American League expansion team in 1977, managed to reach the American League Championship Series three times between 1995 and 2001.

But through a cumulative 111 seasons and 37 playoff appearances, Seattle boasts only one champion: the 1979 Sonics of Gus Williams, Jack Sikma and Dennis Johnson. The list of playoff busts includes some real gut-wrenchers: The 1978 Sonics blew a championship by dropping a Game 7 at home to Washington in the finals, while the top-seeded 1994 club lost a first-round series to the eighth-seeded Denver Nuggets. And the 2001 Mariners went down in the playoffs to the Yankees after posting a 116-46 record during the regular season. Add it all up, and Seattle’s history lands it at the top of our list of the Most Miserable Sports Cities.

There’s much more to making the determination, of course, and it most certainly is an interesting read. Further, the esteemed periodical has a delightful photo gallery chronicling -as well as explaining – the schadenfreude for sports fans who have not suffered the fate of taking residence in these miserable sports cities. Perhaps most surprising? Cleveland only came in as the 8th most miserable town. I guess that’s a feather the residents of that town can put in their cap.

But fear not, denizens of miserable sports locales: you can always take the rankings issued by Forbes with a grain of salt. After all, this is the same beacon of journalistic acumen that once named Kevin McHale the best general manager is sports.

(head asplodes)

So, yeah, there’s that.

The Most Miserable Sports Cities [Forbes (via FOX Sports)]