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Wake N’ Blog: Oooh Yeah! West Virginia Cousins Snap Into A Carload Of Slim Jims (And A Felony)!

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Tastiest. Crime. Ever. Michael Allen Graham, 37, and John Edward Barry, 35, both of Milton, W.Va., have been charged with receiving stolen property after police discovered a carload of Slim Jims and beef jerky the cousins stole from various gas stations and auto parts stores. They told authorities they stole the tasty treats to finance and planned to sell them to finance a road trip to where one of their relatives was having car trouble. Some folk will never steal beef jerky, but then again, some folk’ll… [msnbc]

• Carey Price’s tribute to Jacques Plante mask he wore at the Heritage Classic is disturbing. [Puck Daddy]

• In light of Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian’s new unisex cologne, the gang at TBJ asked NBA All-Stars what they would name their scent. [The Basketball Jones]

• Andy Roddick hit the shot of the year during his match with Milos Raonic.[Larry Brown Sports]

• Video of a 195-foot shorthanded goal from college hockey. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman are poised to take over the interwebs. [Awful Announcing]

• Basketball’s best beards, everyone. [Ballin’ is a Habit]

• Hey, look: Mark Teixeira and A-Rod hugging it out! [Busted Coverage]

• Check out TAUNTR’s new feature: DART (Daily Animated Re-Tweets). [TAUNTR]

• Apparently, it’s extremely easy to get arrested in Wyoming: man busted for skiing uphill. [Off the Bench]

• Top ten slam dunks over a car. [Ted Williams Head]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Area Dad Just Wants Computer With The Basics