Sportress of Blogitude


Mitch Albom On Miguel Cabrera’s DUI Arrest: Drunk Driving’s Bad, Mmmkay?

We have known Mitch Albom under many guises: average sportswriter, hackneyed novelist, self-aggrandizing moralizer, and that’s just scratching the surface. Now we can add master of the obvious.

That’s right. The accomplished writer took to his soapbox – hopefully one that could withstand the weight of his considerably sized external auditory organs – to lambaste Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera in light of the ballplayer’s DUI arrest late Wednesday evening in Florida. Fair enough, to be sure – the guy deserves to be hammered on for his reckless and irresponsible behavior, but the manner in which Albom elects to go after Cabrera is by informing the drooling, ignorant masses of this little known fact:

Drunk driving is bad. Even for professional athletes.

/The More You Know

To wit, an excerpt from Albom’s Detroit Free Press column, “Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera gets no excuses this time”:

Cabrera has a problem because, police say, he was drinking, resisted arrest and faces a driving under the influence charge.

But most important, because he was out on the road.

And booze and cars are an absolute no-no.

Don’t care who you are. No ifs or buts. You cannot mix alcohol and driving.

Wow. Thanks for clearing that one up for us, Mitch. Maybe he can manufacture some drivel and eke out out a half-assed novel from the mess Cabrera has created. I even have some ideas for the title:

  • For One More Sip
  • Tuesday’s AA Meeting With Miggie
  • The Five People You Meet In Detox
  • Have a Little Scotch

Okay, those aren’t great, but either were his craptastic, emotionally pandering books from which I adapted the titles. Fair is fair, I say. Mmmkay?

Mitch Albom: Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera gets no excuses this time [Detroit Free Press]