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S.O.B.’s Super-Duper, Supremely Sassy Super Bowl XLV Preview

Jason Rowan
| February 4, 2011

This series is brought to you by T.G.I Fridays®, where every weekend means Food, Fun & Playoff Football! Hut, Hut, Hut!

That’s right. I referred to my sponsored Super Bowl preview post as “Sassy!” Hey, if it’s good enough for a classic Saturday Night Live skit featuring the magnificent Phil Hartman, well, you’re darn tootin’ it’s good enough for me. So there.

Moving on, we have finally arrived at the much hyped, much ballyhooed culmination of yet another outstanding NFL season. Of course, I am referring to the fact that the Pro Bowl has mercifully been played and I didn’t catch one second of it.

Kidding, of course – not about the Pro Bowl, but the fact that said exercise in banality is the culmination of the NFL season. I am of course referring to Super Bowl XLV. And unless you are some kind of twisted freak who eschews major cultural events just to be different and put yourself up on a pedestal, I imagine not only are you well aware that Super Bowl Sunday is nearly upon us, but that you have already made iron clad plans as to what you’ll be doing during that blessed day. Of course, it involves a ridiculous amount of overeating and sitting around, two fixtures of the American Dream. I guess what I’m getting at is I find it highly unlikely that any of you out there reading a sports blog will not be having the following exchange with your pastor/reverend/priest/rabbi/cult leader on Sunday, as played out on The Simpsons:

Reverend Lovejoy: Well, I’m glad some people could resist the lure of the big game.
Guy: Oh my god, I forgot the game!

Yeah, I’d be very disappointed in any person who would allow something like that to happen. Shameful.

Now here is where I would usually preview the matchup, but I’m fairly confident every single person is pretty much punch drunk as it pertains to the mind-numbing analysis performed on the Super Bowl. Heck, even those annoying old farts from the “Never Miss A Super Bowl Club” could even tolerate another iota of information at this point, so for your sake, I will not bore you with such trivialities. I will, however, highlight some of the Super Bowl coverage which has occurred on this here very site over the past few weeks. No, I do not think it is hypocritical to complain about how the Super Bowl is over-hyped and then over-hype my coverage of the very same over-hyped event. It’s a fine line we’re treading here, people.

Wow. That’s an awful lot of posts. You know what? Maybe I’m coming at this all wrong. Maybe I am part of the problem. Well, I guess I can ruminate over that conundrum over the next six-plus months. Sigh.

And with that, I will leave with you this: Enjoy. The. Game. Eat, drink and be merry. It’s the last one for a mighty long time folks. That’s a scary thought.