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Wake N’ Blog: And Now, In Cross-Eyed Possum News…

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Heidi, an overweight, cross-eyed possum who has become an international superstar of sorts, has been put on a strict diet by her caretakers at the Leipzig Zoo in Germany in an effort to correct the very same eyes that have made her famous. “Heidi has been on a diet since she arrived last May,” spokeswoman Maria Saegebarth said. “Her eyes could go back to normal but at this moment we don’t know.” Quite the story. Remember to keep Heidi in your prayers, kids. [Yahoo!/Reuters]

• A survey indicates that most women prefer the Super Bowl to having sex. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Urban Meyer is shunning his family to work at ESPN. [Awful Announcing]

• NFL 2011 Draft Tracker: here’s Ryan Mallett autographing a baby at Walmart. [Busted Coverage]

• Only people who know Ben Roethlisberger hate him. [Deuce of Davenport]

• Congrats to Troy Palamalu on winning the AP Defensive Player of the Year. [Mondesi’s House]

• The University of Alabama does not consider cheerleading a sport. [No Guts, No Glory]

• Kyle Turley’s appearance on Outside the Lines on Sunday was far out, man. [Joe Sports Fan]

• A WHL linesman picked a bad time to lose a skate edge. [The Last Angry Fan]

• The Steelers arrive in Dallas and trouble is already brewing. [Off the Bench]

• In the newest edition of KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pickkake, Louis C.K. takes his turn. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• The most important position in sports is destined to have a new look next season. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• Here’s some up-close video of MSG security staff choking a St. John’s student. [Bob’s Blitz]

• The Kansas fat kid who loves Erin Andrews sure knows how to state the obvious. [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Every Team In NFL Calls Bengals To Let Them Know They Don’t Want Carson Palmer