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Wake N’ Blog: Let He Who Has Not Been Rescued Out Of Trash Chute While Naked Cast The First Stone

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Rescue personnel in Honolulu had to help remove a naked man from a trash chute in an apartment building after the man jumped down it to elude police after his roommate called authorities to report that he was intoxicated and wielding a knife. The man was ultimately arrested, but when authorities asked him how he got stuck while naked in the chute, the man’s reply: “I went for one dive.” Far out. [msnbc]

• Tracy Morgan thinks Sarah Palin is good masturbation material, and he made everyone aware of his opinion on the NBA on TNT pregame show. Awesome. [Deuce of Davenport]

• See ya later, Jeff Fisher. It was a good run. [With Leather]

• San Francisco Giants goofball closer Brian Wilson made an appearance on Lopez Tonight dressed up like a sea captain. If that’s not brilliant enough for you, The Machine even made an appearance. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Here’s Kevin Love’s All-Star promotion video. It’s a spoof of those ridiculous cologne ads. [The Basketball Jones]

• Darryl Strawberry plans to run all the way to the top of the Empire State Building. Without cocaine, even. [Off the Bench]

• John Daly is sick and tired of being sick and tired of tournaments keeping him out. [Devil Ball Golf]

• The 10 best shoe commercials ever. [It’s Always Sunny In Detroit]

• One of yesterday’s KSK Super Bowl Celebrity Pickakke featured Jason Whitlock. Hoo boy. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• For those of you who own a Wii Fit: don’t do this. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• Ladies and gentlemen, meet Dwyane Wade, Oakley’s newest star spokesman. [Joe Sports Fan]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Teen Sex Linked To Alcohol And Drugs By Center Of Figuring Out Really Obvious Things