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Wake N’ Blog: Let He Who Has Not Been Rescued Out Of Trash Chute While Naked Cast The First Stone

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• Rescue personnel in Honolulu had to help remove a naked man from a trash chute in an apartment building after the man jumped down it to elude police after his roommate called authorities to report that he was intoxicated and wielding a knife. The man was ultimately arrested, but when authorities asked him how he got stuck while naked in the chute, the man’s reply: “I went for one dive.” Far out. [msnbc]

• Tracy Morgan thinks Sarah Palin is good masturbation material, and he made everyone aware of his opinion on the NBA on TNT pregame show. Awesome. [Deuce of Davenport]

• See ya later, Jeff Fisher. It was a good run. [With Leather]

• San Francisco Giants goofball closer Brian Wilson made an appearance on Lopez Tonight dressed up like a sea captain. If that’s not brilliant enough for you, The Machine even made an appearance. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Here’s Kevin Love’s All-Star promotion video. It’s a spoof of those ridiculous cologne ads. [The Basketball Jones]

• Darryl Strawberry plans to run all the way to the top of the Empire State Building. Without cocaine, even. [Off the Bench]

• John Daly is sick and tired of being sick and tired of tournaments keeping him out. [Devil Ball Golf]

• The 10 best shoe commercials ever. [It’s Always Sunny In Detroit]

• One of yesterday’s KSK Super Bowl Celebrity Pickakke featured Jason Whitlock. Hoo boy. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• For those of you who own a Wii Fit: don’t do this. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• Ladies and gentlemen, meet Dwyane Wade, Oakley’s newest star spokesman. [Joe Sports Fan]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Teen Sex Linked To Alcohol And Drugs By Center Of Figuring Out Really Obvious Things