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Wake N’ Blog: Yeah, Maybe Calling 911 To Order Up A Hooker Wasn’t The Best Idea

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Police suspect 42-year-old Lonnie Michael Felts was under the influence of drugs when he called 911 repeatedly to request a hooker and an escort. On the first call, he requested “a hooker and an escort to get boots,” because, you know, nothing impresses a prostitute more than some new boots. Or something. Anyway, he got arrested for is repeated attempts. The strangest part of the story is if you take a look at the mug shot of the North Carolina resident, you wonder why a guy possessing such rugged good looks would ever require the services of a hooker or an escort. [msnbc]

• Seattle Mariners whackjob Milton Bradley has been arrested for a felony. [Foul Balls]

• Is New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott really Olllie Williams from Family Guy? [Second-String Fullback]

• Laurence Maroney had one of the most epic mug shot photos taken ever. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Al Davis: always good for a laugh – unless you happen to be looking at him (see below). [Rumors & Rants]

• Mike Florio has apologized for the hatchet job he did on Aaron Rodgers on Pro Football Talk. [Awful Announcing]

• An Olympian has been robbed of his medal – literally. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

• Lawnmower races are awesome, but lawnmower races with fistfights are super awesome. [The Slanch Report]

• Great stuff: Ask Joe Thornton About Movies. [Melt Your Face Off]

• Awesome SportsDome bit about a cancer patient whose last wish was to heckle David Wright. [TheWizWit]

• Charles Barkley teaches absolutely nobody how to Dougie. [It’s Always Sunny In Detroit]

• This guy and his monkey are far too excited about crappy Starting Lineup figures. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• “Macho Man” Randy Savage looks like hell, man. [The Sports Hernia Blog]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Iams Executives Scrambling To Figure Out Why Brand Is Losing 2- To 4-Year-Old Chocolate Labs