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Laurence ‘Iron Eyes’ Maroney Asks You To Help Keep America Beautiful

And if you refuse, Denver Broncos running back and militant anti-littering crusader Laurence “Iron Eyes” Maroney just might shoot you. With his gun. Legally. Because this entire arrest hullabaloo was a bunch of baloney. You see, Maroney was “unlawfully arrested for possession of weapons” because he “holds a permit to carry a concealed weapon.” That’s according to his trustworthy publicist, Jane Higgins, and while I do not know the first thing about this Higgins, I reasonably suspect she hates litterers just as much as Laurence “Iron Eyes” Maroney. Because hey, who doesn’t, right?

Give a hoot. Don’t pollute. Wait. That’s the motto of a completely different staunch anti-littering proponent from the 1970s: Woodsy Owl, not Iron Eyes Cody. But their similar messages remain relevant and still ring true during these crazy times.

RB Maroney arrested; no charges filed [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]