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Wake N’ Blog: Talk About P-Whipped – Man Decides To Stay With Girlfriend Who Set His Balls On Fire

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, comments and complaints to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• After suffering serious burns when girlfriend Victoria Bynes dumped gasoline on his crotch and set his genitals on fire, forty-two-year-old Andrew Williams has made the ballsy decision to reconcile with the 29-year-old testicular-obsessed pyromaniac. Who says love never dies? For these two star-crossed lovers, passion burns eternal. Maybe she was simply trying too add a little heat to their relationship. [msnbc]

• Ooh la la: a current Mississippi State cheerleader is in Playboy. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

• Clippers broadcaster really, really likes Blake Griffin. [The Basketball Jones]

• Awesome: retired baseball players with superb porn star names. [Bugs & Cranks]

• Will we see 11 NHL teams change their jerseys next season? God, I hope not. [Puck Daddy]

• Jumbotron dancing at its best…and worst. [Detroit4Lyfe]

• Chad Ochocinco would like to play for the Patriots but there is no way in hell that is ever happening. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Ooh la la, part deux: Maria Sharapova (and other gals) Nike commercial. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• North Dakota took on Minnesota in college hockey last weekend, bench clearing chaos ensued. [Outside the Boxscore]

• My pal Butter Chicken goes on an epic rant against the hand soap dispensers from Bath & Body Works. [Food Court Lunch]

• The girlfriends of the 2011 Conference Championship weekend quarterbacks. [It’s Always Sunny In Detroit]

• Introducing Amanda Ponce: California-based, busty Packers fan. [Busted Coverage]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Brian Urlacher Theorizes Saturn Might Have Playoff Atmosphere