Sportress of Blogitude

Ron Artest: In-N-Out Burger ‘The Only Reason I’m Here In L.A’

Here’s Los Angeles Lakers oddball Ron Artest’s deep, greasy burgerlicious thoughts upon learning the NBA rescinded his technical foul from Sunday’s game against the Clippers, which means he won’t have to pay the associated $4,000 fine and how he would have preferred to spend the money anyway (from the Los Angeles Times, via Pro Basketball Talk):

“I could’ve bought 10,000 In-N-Out Burgers,” he said. “I rather would’ve done that than give it away. I’m going to get 10 burgers [after Monday’s game]. I love In-N-Out. It’s addicting. It’s the only reason I’m here in L.A. If it wasn’t for In-N-Out Burger, I probably would’ve gone to Memphis or something.”

Being a landlocked individual living in Flyover Country, I have never had the pleasure of dining at an In-N-Out Burger, although I hear they are certifiably fantastic, mouth-watering testaments to the gastrointestinal delights of a big greasy burger, so while I cannot attest to Artest’s love of them nor can I wholeheartedly agree with his motivations for joining the Lakers over the Grizzlies, if the burgers are as good as advertised, I’d ultimately have chosen L.A. over Memphis every day of the week. I mean, what are going to do in Memphis? Eat Fried Peanut Butter And Banana sandwiches and hang out outside Graceland?

But Artest wasn’t done with his amusing comments regarding the events of Sunday evening. Continue on to read about his wish that the uptight referee who assessed the technical to model little boy Fruit of the Loom underwear.

Artest then transitioned from fast food to men’s underwear, as only he could, saying one unidentified NBA referee “definitely has Fruit of the Looms that are super tight.”

“He should do a commercial with extra-medium Fruit of the Looms, the tight ones,” Artest said. “He should do a little kid commercial of a man wearing little kid underwear.”

Yeesh. To paraphrase a title of a song by The Smiths, talk about painting a vulgar picture.

NBA rescinds technical fouls against Lakers’ Ron Artest, Clippers’ Blake Griffin [Los Angles Times (via Pro Basketball Talk)]