Sportress of Blogitude


Oh No! Floyd Landis Is Retiring From Cycling! How Are We Supposed To Move On?

Way to try and steal the retirement spotlight from another athlete no one cares about anymore, Floyd Landis. Of course, I am referring to Kris Benson. What? Who did you think I was referring to?

Anyway, Floyd Landis has shocked the world – well, the cycling world, and honestly, they probably don’t give a crap about it either, but the disgraced cyclist has announced his retirement from competitive cycling and somehow, the cycling world will have to figure out a way to move on without his divisive, worthless presence.

Landis, 35, stated that he hasn’t been able to find a paying job in cycling since he contradicted himself regarding the use of performance-enhancing drugs when he won the 2006 Tour de France when he finally admitted after vehemently denying it from the outset to using blood transfusions and drugs during the peak of his competitive career.

Some of Landis’ “woe is me” statements regarding his retirement (via ESPN):

“I’ve spent five years trying to get back to a place that I can never really go back to, and it’s causing more stress than is worth it,” Landis said. “There must be more to life than this.

“I don’t want it to come across that I’m quitting because I’m bitter,” Landis said.

“I’m relatively sure this sport cannot be fixed, but that’s not my job, that’s not my fight,” he said.

Nope. Not his fight at all. His “fight” was to self-righteously abuse a flawed system as long as he could, gain worldwide notoriety, deny using performance-enhancing drugs and then cop to it to sell books and generate more publicity. I guess Floyd Landis will just have to find another way to subversively attract attention to himself. Might I suggest a celebrity boxing match against Lance Armstrong? That’s about the only way I’d ever pay attention again to either of those a-holes.

Floyd Landis retiring from cycling [ESPN]