Sportress of Blogitude

NFLPA General Counsel: Extraterrestials Are Meddling In League’s Labor Impasse

NFLPA general counsel Richard Berthelsen, responding during a conference call Thursday afternoon to allegations by the NFL that the leaders of the NFLPA actually want a lockout to occur (via Pro Football Talk):

“Any suggestion we want a lockout is coming from outer space.”

Goddamn brilliant. Those friggin’ aliens are some smart S.O.B.’s. Muddle up the labor negotiations and while everyone becomes obsessed about whether or not there will be an NFL lockout next season and are incredibly distracted by that horrifying possibility, swoop on in and invade the planet when no one’s looking.

Jesus. Mulder & Scully were right: The truth is out there. Although if were an alien life form hellbent on taking over the planet Earth, I would have instead started screwing around with soccer, what with it being much more of a global game. But I admire how they’re thinking. All I know is I’m sure glad I held on to my aluminum foil hat and have been watching all those episodes of Ancient Aliens on History. That crazy-haired dude sure know his stuff.

NFLPA: “Any suggestion we want a lockout is coming from outer space” [Pro Football Talk]