Hey, Roger Goodell, Where’s My Stinking E-Mail?
You know, I have grown accustomed with being decidedly left out of things: parties, necessary surgery, polio vaccines, but never have I felt more ostracized and shunned than I do right now. You see, Roger Goodell just sent an e-mail out to 5 million NFL fans regarding the current morass the league’s labor issue is stuck in and guess what? I wasn’t on the list. Not cool, Goodell, not cool. I thought we were down. But I checked all my various e-mail accounts – including Goodell-Is-My-Homeboy [at] Excite [dot] com and nothing. Just a big exclusionary “F-U” from the Commissioner.
Anyway, maybe some of you guys received this coveted e-mail, but those who have been left in the dark like myself, here’s the gist (via Yahoo!/AP):
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is telling fans that “if both sides give a little,” the league and players “can and will reach an agreement” on a new labor deal.
In an e-mail sent Monday to about 5 million fans and obtained by The Associated Press, Goodell says “economic realities are forcing everyone to make tough choices and the NFL is no different.”
He outlines two key elements in negotiations to replace the current collective bargaining agreement, which expires March 4: A change to an 18-game regular season, and the need to shift to veterans some what Goodell calls the “outrageous sums paid to many unproven rookies.”
Writes Goodell: “All we’re asking for is a return to common sense in paying our rookies. Other leagues have done this and we can too.”
Here Goodell, allow me to drop some common sense of my own on you: if you’re not going to send me important, relevant and informative e-mails, you can go ahead and take me off your “forward every e-mail I get” contacts list. Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of your twisted obsession with Helen Keller jokes and amputee porn links anyway, ya jerk.
NFL Commissioner Goodell e-mails fans about labor [Yahoo!/AP]