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Financial Guru Lenny Dykstra: Did Not ‘Get Stupid Overnight,’ Has A Jewish Lawyer

When he isn’t living in a van down by the river, former MLB great and current financial failure Lenny Dykstra likes to tell anyone who is willing to listen to his cockamamie line of bullcrap about how it was not his fault that he took a flying leap over the poor investment precipice headlong into a steaming pile of economic ruin. Lawsuits, failed businesses, bankruptcy, yeah, they’re all there. But it’s not his fault, you see. It was those  goddamn crooks at JP Morgan who set Dykstra on an unavoidable path to Shantytown. But hey, at least he has an Orthodox Jewish lawyer to help him out of the mess that is absolutely and unequivocally not his responsibility.

Step inside the warped mind of Lenny Dykstra courtesy of his appearance on WIP in Philly with Howard Eskin and Ike Reese. But be forewarned: it’s kind of messy in there.

Via Sports Radio Interviews:

Where things went wrong for him when he lost all of his money:

“It is very simple and it is called, predatory lending, meaning, look, I don’t want to get into this ‘new world order’ stuff. I am a normal guy meaning I don’t believe in ghosts. I am not afraid of the dark, a basic guy alright, meaning never in my life did I think there was such corporate crime. JP Morgan, those guys are criminals. They are criminals and they are going to have to pay. Fireman’s Fund? Criminals! Meaning, I have to set an example and my example is the help through other people. The bottom line is, I didn’t get stupid overnight, ok? These people, some of the stuff I read, I don’t read much because I feel bad for my eyes, but I see some of the stuff, it’s insanity! The only one that got this thing right was [Jim] Cramer. Cramer. Cramer has been the only guy right.”

Whether calling JP Morgan criminals is a big accusation:

“JP Morgan accusations? Wait until you see it. I got the facts, and my attorney in New York his name is Moshe Mortner, ok? He is an orthodox Jewish man, great guy and one of the smartest guys that I have met, and we took on JP Morgan and we spun them around through the TILA, ok? That is the Truth in Lending Act. As you know they have a discretionary duty, all banks, to give you a loan and make sure that you qualify for that loan, and the bottom line is that is why this country is in the way it is right now and these families are being dismantled piece by piece because of these crazy banks, ok? Now did I ever think I would be preaching on this? No, I thought I was on this Earth to entertain people on the baseball field, which I was pretty good at. As it turns out I am here for something else and that assistant company called it predatory lending recovery. I can now show people how they can save their homes, ok? There is two million people right now in foreclosure, five more million coming, ok? What happens is they set you up to fail. It is called equity stripping.”

Obviously, Lenny Dykstra did not get stupid overnight. Mind-numbing stupidity and extreme ineptitude at the levels which Dykstra boasts requires year upon year of dedicated cultivation and refinement. Duh.

And equity stripping? I thought that meant the policy that ever gentlemen’s club has to have at least one ugly dancer. I guess for financial gurus like Lenny Dykstra, words can have many different meanings. Like “fiscal responsibility” and “personal culpability,” for instance. You know, words like those, with vague meanings and such. Maybe he can have his Jewish lawyer explain them to him.

Lenny Dykstra Mired In Debt And Blames JP Morgan And Wall Street [Sports Radio Interviews]