Sportress of Blogitude

These Two Douchetard Bruins Fans Got Arrested After Jumping On Ice During Game

While attending the Bruins-Capitals game at the TD Garden on Saturday evening, Matt Parker (left), 17, and Jon Parker (right), 20, apparently decided it would be wicked awesome if they scaled the boards to spend a little time on the ice. Unfortunately for these two dolts from New Hampshire, the police did not find said stunt wicked awesome as they were promptly arrested and will now be arraigned on Tuesday for the charge of disturbing a public assembly.

And I know it will come as a total shock, but the Parker Brothers (I’m going on the assumption they are brothers) – had “a strong odor of alcohol emanating” from them when arrested. Crazy stuff.

Amusing photos of their little trip onto the ice surface follows.

Ha. Those crazy Parker Brothers. I am willing to bet that despite their inebriated moment in the spotlight, they are Sorry! for taking such an idiotic Risk by hopping on the ice. It’s safe to say they didn’t anticipate their antics would end up being such an Aggravation, although I suppose trying to reason with these dumbasses would be a Trivial Pursuit, since it is abundantly clear they haven’t a Clue of what constitutes acceptable public behavior.

Ha. Parker Brothers. It’s funny because that’s also the name of the company that makes the above mentioned board games. Get it? Great stuff, right? Unless they are not brothers, I guess. Because as far as I know, there has never been a company named Parker Cousins or Parker Buddies that has ever manufactured anything cool.

Two Bruins fans slapped with charges [Boston Herald]