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Crosby, Ovechkin, Roenick: Come On Down! You’re The Next Contestants On ‘The Price Is Right!’

Oh man, I bet you Bob Barker is so angry he could spit right about now. There is nothing that xenophobic old coot hates more than maple tree-humping Canadians, communist pig Russians and, um, Jeremy Roenick. Don’t ask me why, Bob just can’t stand that guy.

Fortunately for The Price is Right, Barker ain’t emceeing the show any longer – they have some guy who should be the cover boy for the website menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com now (really, take a look at Drew Carey and tell me otherwise) – because on the Monday, December 20th edition of the show, hockey stars Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin and retired NHLer Jeremy Roenick will be guests to give out an NHL-themed showcase, which includes a trip to this season’s Winter Classic which will pit the Washington Capitals against the Pittsburgh Penguins on January 1st at Heinz Field.

Via NHL.com:

Host Drew Carey, Roenick, Crosby and Ovechkin will unveil the showcase that features tickets to watch the Penguins play against the Capitals in the historic outdoor game; VIP passes to the NHL’s New Year’s Eve Bash; field/ice-level access during the Capitals and Penguins team practices at Heinz Field on Friday, Dec. 31; and a brand new 2011 Honda CR-Z Sport Hybrid car.

Roenick also will introduce an NHL® prize that includes a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the 2011 Stanley Cup® Final and NHL-licensed products. Other NHL-related prizes include items from NHL partners Bridgestone, Reebok, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, LG and Starwood Hotels.

Pretty kick ass package, but the guys are getting totally jacked. They have to show up for an appearance at the long-running weekday morning staple and won’t even be allowed to be a contestant and hear the world-famous “Come on down!”? Lame.

Although one is left to wonder how any of these guys would have fared on the show anyway. Ovechkin likely wouldn’t even get out of the initial “One Bid” segment, unless the items up for bid were acid-washed jeans or compact discs from ’80s bands. Crosby? Sure, he might be able to make the closest bid without going over, but could you imagine how much of petulant little turd he would behave like if he lost in Plinko, or even worse, Cliff Hangers (for some reason, I reckon the Mountain Climber Guy’s “Yodelay Hee Hoo!” would drive Crosby right over the edge if he were to lose)? And Roenick? Crap, unless there’s a “Funky Cold Medina” karaoke contest, that guy would have no chance. And he’s not even neutered, for crying out loud.

Crosby, Ovechkin and Roenick to guest on Dec. 20 edition of ‘The Price is Right’ [NHL.com]