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Sportress of Blogitude

Wussiest. Hockey. Cards. Ever. (Hint: Justin Bieber Is On Them, Holding The Stanley Cup)

Sweet holy hell. For the love of all that is good, pure and honorable about not only the fine game of hockey, but its Holy Grail as well, Lord Stanley’s Cup, why in the name of Howe did somebody allow Justin Bieber to touch the trophy?? Why, dammit, why?

Even worse, two card companies commemorate the bastardization of the precious cup with hockey cards? Those miserable, cretinous jagoffs.

I’m sorry, that’s just plain wrong. If you are anything like me, I prefer to remember the good times, when only people who deserve to touch the Stanley Cup are allowed to hold it in their hands, namely the players who win it. Oh yeah, and Hayden Panettiere – especially when she caresses, kisses, licks and straddles it (documentation of that wondrous day follows):

Yowsers. Me likey.

And you’re welcome. On that note, let’s call it a weekend here at the Sportress. Why don’t all of you go ahead and have a nice weekend contemplating how you would have never suspected how much you wish you were the Stanley Cup – at least on the day sweet Hayden was on the scene. Not the day when Justin Bieber ruined it for everybody, obviously.

Puck Treasures: The Justin Bieber signed Stanley Cup hockey card [Puck Daddy]