Sportress of Blogitude

Here’s The Money Quote From Pete Rose Regarding Joe DiMaggio’s Ginormous Junk

"Think what you want, Teddy, mine is bigger."

The Yankee Clipper? More like The Yankee Zipper, amirite? No good? How about, boy, “Joltin’ Joe” sure is an apt moniker for a guy with a huge crank. No good, either? Fine, forget it.

We touched upon this in Wake N’ Blog this morning, but Pete Rose’s comments to Mike Missanelli on 97.5 The Fanatic in Philadelphia just have to be a permanent part of the Sportress’ archives.

Apparently, Pete Rose took a goodwill trip to Vietnam in 1967 to support the troops. During that trip, Rose got himself an eyeful of DiMaggio’s reportedly considerable girth.

Via Sports Radio Interviews:

“In 1967, I get a call from the state department and a guy identifies himself and he says, ‘Would you like to go to Vietnam?’ I said, ‘Not necessarily. In ’67?’ He said, ‘Well, Joe DiMaggio’s going.’ So five of us went over to Vietnam and we went to Saigon and met up on the Intrepid in Tonkin Bay. And we were there for 23 days. Now we’re down in the middle of the jungle, it’s hot, it’s so hot you can’t sleep, there’s a war going on, you can see the helicopter and every fourth bullet is a tracer. We’re up on a hill and there’s a valley and the other hill is where the war’s going on. And Joe says, ‘Man, I’ve gotta take a shower.’ I said, ‘Joe, we’re out in the middle of the jungle, what do you mean you’ve got to take a shower?’ He said, ‘I don’t give a damn, I’m Joe D and I’ve gotta take a shower.’ And the only way you can take a shower, Mike, is they have these big bamboo bags, like, and somebody’s got to get on a chair and pour the water and pull a rawhide thing and the water comes through and the guy takes a shower. So I saw everything that Marilyn Monroe saw. Now, when I tell people the best way to describe Joe DiMaggio, he was a penis with a man hanging from it. … Does that give you a better perspective?”

Wowee Zowee. Now that’s a story. It reminds of a tattoo one of old man’s friend has: it’s a rooster hanging by a noose which is located on his calf. Why? So he can tell people he has a cock hanging below his knees. Good stuff.

Pete Rose Has A Fantastic, and NSFW Way To Describe Joe DiMaggio’s Manhood [Sports Radio Interviews]