Sportress of Blogitude

S.O.B.’s Perfectly Edible NFL Weekend Preview (Sponsored By T.G.I. Friday’s)

This series is brought to you by T.G.I. Friday’s, where every Sunday means Food, Fun & Football! Hut, hut, hut!

Okay, okay. A blog post cannot technically be eaten given the limitations of modern technology, but one day in the future, we will all be able to consume data from the internet which will then provide our cybernetic brains with needed sustenance. But if were able to somehow get transported to that time in the future after the machines take over and we become one with technology, you could bet the farm on the fact that this post would be pretty darn tasty. Not that there will be farms in the future, so I suppose there will be a need for some other idiom by which to explain the fact that something is a sure thing. Jeez, technology sure is confusing.

Anyhoo, the good folks at T.G.I. Friday’s have asked me to prepare a nutritious, scrumdiddilyicious NFL preview for you folks, and of course, I was more than happy to oblige. Read on, and enjoy the morsels of NFL deliciousness I have provided. While you still can.

To be perfectly honest with you guys, the cupboard where the NFL stores its compelling matchups is surprisingly bare this weekend, and absent following your favorite team, the schedule leaves a lot to be desired on Sunday afternoon, so I would advise maybe taking in the games at a nice neighborhood restaurant with some friends, T.G.I. Friday’s, perhaps..

But once those slate of games are finished and Sunday night rolls around, the remaining two games on the docket for Week 13 are sure to be a couple of hootenannies, in the parlance of a bygone era where words like “hootenanny” and “humdinger” were more regularly utilized. Those were the days.

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-3) at Baltimore Ravens (8-3)
M&T Bank Stadium
8:20 p.m. (NBC)

As so often is the case when these two teams clash, attaining supremacy in the AFC North is on the line. The prevailing issue regarding Sunday night’s matchup is the condition of Ben Roethlisberger’s foot. Conflicting reports are bouncing all over the interwebs regarding whether or not Big Ben’s foot is broken or not. Initial reports indicated that his foot is indeed broken while the Steelers are denying that one of his wheels is all busted up. And if there is one team that you don’t want to gimping around on a bum foot on, it’s most certainly the Ravens. Seriously, when is Ray Lewis ever going to get old and washed up? He’s like the Jack LaLanne of the NFL, although I probably should be careful about any compliments I make about the Ravens. Who knows what will set Hines Ward off on an epic rant next.

Weed’s Call: In an evenly-matched game, I always defer to 1980s power ballads when making a pick, so I’m seeking inspiration from “Home Sweet Home” and going with Ravens 21, Steelers 17 in a brawl.

New York Jets (9-2) at New England Patriots (9-2)
Gillette Stadium
8:30 ET (ESPN)

In yet another epic battle for a highly contested division lead, arguably the two best teams in the NFL will square off Monday night in what should be one of the more entertaining games of the regular season. In one corner, the Jets, who have backed up their preseason smack talk with solid play in all three phases of the game.

In the other corner, the Patriots, who, despite not having many superstars on the roster, have once again been lead by Master Belichick, who can apparently turn pretty much transform a seemingly average NFL squad into NFL gold.

Essentially, taking Belichick out of the picture, this game comes down to a mano-a-mano battle between the wits of Rex Ryan and the savvy of Tom Brady. Since both of them are married to supermodels, it’s tough to say who will come out on top.

Weed’s Call: Drawing inspiration from a ’80s power ballads again, methinks whichever team can exercise the most “Patience”, insofar as sticking to what their respective squad does best and refuses to adjust to their opponent’s schemes, will come out on top. With that said, I trust Belichick more than I do Ryan, so I’m giving the nod to the Patriots by the score of 28-23.

There you have it, kiddos and kiddettes. Enjoy the games.