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Wake N’ Blog: Prison? Aggravated Assault Charges? A Jedi Craves Not These Things

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and dirty limericks to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Make that a guy who is so loaded on prescription pills and alcohol who believes he is a Jedi craves not these things. A Pennsylvanian man who was so tweaked out of his gourd he believed he was Obi-Wan Kenobi pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and related charges after he savagely beat his roommate because he was trying to “kill all evil.” Milan Marinkovic, 36, was sentenced to between 8 and 20 years in prison for the brutal attack. He claims to not remember anything about the incident. The force is strong with this one. [MSNBC]

• Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert hired a law firm to investigate possible tampering by the Miami Heat. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Could recently fired Miami coach Randy Shannon be headed to Minnesota? [Rumors & Rants]

• MMP wrote an epic “F**k You” post to all those so-called “great” fans. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Yay! New photos of drunk Florida State gal! [Busted Coverage]

• This just in: Blake Griffin is good at dunking. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• Welcome Back, Kotter LeBron! [TAUNTR]

• If you ever wanted an MLB dreidel, here’s your chance. [The Last Angry Fan]

• Man bowls 900 series, much to the chagrin to my pal Josiah Schlatter. [Out of Bounds]

• Here are the top 10 anti-LeBron t-shirts. [The Jersey Chaser]

• Andre Johnson was mic’d up for his scuffle with Cortland Finnegan? [Bob’s Blitz]

• Ha! NBA blog provides 8 reasons why the NHL is not “hot.” Asswipes. [Puck Daddy]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Acid Trip Better Planned Than Vacation