Sportress of Blogitude

Saints DE Will Smith On Domestic Abuse Arrest: Police Just Don’t Understand

(To the tune of “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince)

You know police are the same
No matter time nor place
They don’t understand that us  football players
Are going to make some mistakes
So to you, all the players all across the land
There’s no need to argue
Police just don’t understand

Oh-kay, here’s the situation
My wife and I went out for a night of drinking and
She got a little lippy as we left the club
Did I mind?
Umm, well, of course I did
I’ll just grab her by the back of the head

And maybe show her who’s boss to a couple of friends
I’ll just drag her by the hair around the neighborhood
Well, maybe I didn’t
Yeah, of course I did

Pay attention, here’s the thick of the plot
The police pulled up to the corner at the end of the block
That’s when I saw this deputy who was just walking
I picked up my cell phone to perpetrate like I was talking
You should’ve seen my girl’s dishonorable intentions
I pulled her hair just to get her attention
She said, “Was that for me?”
I said, “Yeah”
She said, “Why”
I said, “Come on and make it look like I’m a helluva guy”

She said, “Now I know that you are sick
You are acting like some deranged lunatic”
I said, “C’mon toots, I am a New Orleans Saint
Beside, would a lunatic need a police restraint?”

And so on and so forth. It’s funny because they’re both named Will Smith. Get it? Still not good. I see.

Saints DE Will Smith: Arrest a ‘misunderstanding’ [USA Today/AP]