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Wake N’ Blog: Statue Of The God Mars In Rome Has A Brand New Penis

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• When you want news regarding status penis, you come to the Sportress! In retrospect, I probably should have thought a bit more about it before putting the previous motto on my business cards, but oh well. Despite being embroiled in a sex scandal, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi commissioned the repair of a statue featuring the Roman gods Mars and Venus, a restoration which included attaching a brand-spanking new penis on Mars. Penises on statues were frequently cut off in Rome, either to be treasured as souvenirs or via the hands of prudish Christians. [Yahoo!/AFP]

• Ron Artest is still talking about trying out for the NFL after his NBA career is over. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Hoo boy, the Eva Longoria-Tony Parker divorce could get prettay prettay prettay messy. [Rumors & Rants]

• The strict conditions which had to be met for Tiger Woods to agree to appear on Mike & Mike yesterday. Well, not really, but these are funny. [Devil Ball Golf]

• Matt Millen: still an idiot. [Awful Announcing]

• If you happen to be in the market for a Wayne Gretzky doll sans pants, you’re in luck: you can get one on eBay. [The Last Angry Fan]

• In light of the Parker-Longoria split, here’s a look back at some other high profile athlete divorces. [I’m Taking My Talents]

• Do the Giants have a chance in hell of beating the Eagles? The New York Post doesn’t seem to think so. [TheWizWit]

• Time for another edition of the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. Today: finding the right drunk for you. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Ouch: “Flames GM Sutter tries to deal wife for Avery’s sloppy seconds.” [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Horrified Man Looks On Powerlessly As He Ruins Date