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Wake N’ Blog: Oregon Couple Awake To Find Naked Man In Closet Who Was Presumably An R. Kelly Fan

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• Although he wasn’t technically trapped in the closet, but close enough. A couple in Corvallis, Oregon awoke Monday night to find 21-year-old Nicholas Buekea naked in their closet. Police report that Buekea “snuck out of a friend’s basement apartment, climbed around a locked door to access a staircase and made his way to a third-floor apartment.” When discovered the naked man ran away after a brief struggle and was found later on Monday by a group of people, where police gave him a pair of shorts to put on before checking him into the hospital. LSD is bad, mmmkay? [Yahoo!/AP]

• The Miami Heat now have as many losses as the Indiana Pacers. [Rumors & Rants]

• How in the holy hell did Derek Jeter win a Gold Glove? [Big League Stew]

• It needs to be said: Tom Brady and the Patriots offense are struggling due to the absence of Randy Moss. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Hey, where does all that NFL fine money go? TWW delves into the intriguing subject. [TheWitWit]

• TSR gets its podcasting career off to a great start with special guest, chart-topping rapper Spose. [The Sporting Rave]

• With Matthew Stafford’s season likely over, hopefully he is being consoled by this bikini beauty. [Busted Coverage]

• This is NOT how you run out the clock in a football game. [Out of Bounds]

• Celebrating the end of our long national nightmare: Joe Morgan is no longer at ESPN! [TAUNTR]

• Florida man files for a restraining order against Obama, Jesus and of course, Tim Tebow. [The Last Angry Fan]

• What should we expect out of Versus’ new show, NHL Overtime? [Puck Daddy]

• Allen Iverson got his name chanted at a soccer game in Turkey. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Drinking a bottle of the world’s most expensive beer won’t get you drunk? What gives? Oh, it’s for charity? Alright. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Denver Nuggets Announce Plans To Move To New York For Carmelo Anthony