Sportress of Blogitude

Chris Paul Would Prefer To Stay Blissfully Unaware Of His Parents’ Shake Weight Use

Nor can anyone in their right mind blame the New Orleans Hornets point guard for the epiphany he arrived at while eating dinner with his mother and father last night regarding their use of an exercise implement which causes one to appear like they are working on perfecting their masturbatory (or handjob) techniques.

Paul tweeted the following message Tuesday evening regarding his own personal nightmare scenario, which included a dinner table demonstration courtesy of his old man of the incredibly awkward “You jackin’ it?” Shake Weight routine (via You Been Blinded):

I’m at dinner wit the fam and my mama is talkin about her “Shake Weight” and my dad demonstrated…#TMI #Uncomfortable#NotTryinToHearThat

Yeesh. Not good. I find it impossible to believe that at this point there are people still out there who are unfamiliar with the Shake Weight masturbatory machine, but if you are one of those fortunate souls, prepare to be dumbfounded and confused. And probably pretty repulsed.

Dear Lord. You could see that for the millionth time (not that I would recommend it) and still wish some scientist had the foresight to invent mental bleach. Yeesh.

And now, one of the few “classic” bits from modern day Saturday Night Live: the Shake Weight parody ad:

Funny stuff. Still, we cannot forget about poor, poor CP3. We feel your pain, man.

Chris Paul Doesn’t Want To Know His Parents Use the ShakeWeight [You Been Blinded]