Sportress of Blogitude

Pat Riley Is Afraid Of What Exactly Is Going On ‘Out There In The Cyber-World’

Pat Riley, when not constructing a championship caliber roster for the Miami Heat, by all accounts, is incredibly old school. He likes the way in which things were done in a bygone era, when a guy would wake up in the morning, carefully massage a pound of lard into his hair to get that sophisticated greased-back look and then go give 110% at his job, whether that be as an NBA coach/executive or, um, some other vocation where no one would hassle a guy for having a pound of lard applied to their scalp – adult bookstore owner, perhaps? Anyway, the guy could then return home, satisfied with his effort and promptly be served a martini by his adoring wife, unaware that one day, a terrible evil would be unleashed and nary a soul would any longer be safe from the dastardly, dread-filled dangers which can commonly be found in the “Cyber-World.”

With the vitriolic hatred which can be commonly found in the “Cyber-World” for one LeBron James, Riley addressed during an interview with Dan LeBatard on 790 the Ticket in Miami whether or not he believes increased security will be necessary for the Heat when they visit Cleveland. Riley also discussed how he thinks it is potentially dangerous for athletes to even bother entrenching themselves in the terrifying new world of social media (via Sports Radio Interviews):

“There’s been discussion about amping up the security, but it’s almost anywhere now. It isn’t just Cleveland. Throughout the league and in all sports, with what’s going out there in the cyber-world you just don’t know who is connecting with you. That’s why I have a hard time understanding why players would want to twitter people they don’t even know and let people they don’t even know know where they’re going to be at what time and all this stuff. There’s more concern I think today in all sports of amping up security. That particular game speaks for itself so I’m sure the league will be on top of it.”

Indeed they will, Mr. Riley. But what happens if Lebron James were to “twitter” people and tell them that he too will be at the game when the Heat take on the Cavs in Cleveland? If he does that, the NBA might have to begin hyperamping security and maybe even Facebook a warning on the eBays so the Twitter people know that the league means business. Gosh darn highfalutin internets with its complicated mumbo jumbo, flashy attitude and great googly Googling. I’ve had about all I can take of it, consarnit. You know what I’m talking about, right? I heard about it after watching a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus.

Pat Riley Says That Health Is the Thing That Could Prevent the Heat From Winning a Championship [Sports Radio Interviews]