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Burning Man(chester): ‘Bonfire Society’ To Burn 50-Foot Tall Wayne Rooney In Effigy

As the great punk poet Glenn Danzig once sang, “There’s some kinda love, and there is some kinda hate.” Evidently, a British society who sets fire to a much-maligned public figure every year to commemorate Guy Fawkes Day, is taking Danzig’s words to heart and is definitely allowing some kinda hate to flow freely for Wayne Rooney. So much so, the Edenbridge Bonfire Society has chosen the Manchester United star Wayne Rooney, a quite popular fixture in the British tabloids over the past year due to a litany of transgressions, to be the likeness they will burn in effigy on Friday.

Rooney’s likeness has been fitted with Shrek ears and is holding a bagful cash in one hand and his new contract with Manchester United in the other. Zing. 15,000 people are expected to attend the ceremonial burning and I suspect they will be quite pleased with the Edenbridge Bonfire Society’s choice.

Via the Toronto Star:

In the past, the Edenbridge Bonfire Society has burned old lady insulters (former PM Gordon Brown), everybody insulters (comedian Russell Brand) and nitwits (“model” Katie Price).

But he shouldn’t take it personally.

“I hate football myself, so I’m quite happy to burn a footballer,” the Society’s spokesperson, Charles Laver told the Guardian.

So, it’s just a generalized animus sort of thing. Whew, Rooney’s thinking, at least I’ve still got Manchester United fans.

“One of our members is a big Man U fan,” Laver continued. “So he’s been advising us on getting all the details of the (uniform) just right.”

Oh.

Wow. It sucks to be Wayne Rooney right about now, what with this mockery of his likeness as well as the complete turmoil his personal life is currently in. Well, except for the fat stacks of cash he’s raking in due to holding his team hostage to extort more money out of them. Come to think of it, the more I read about this Rooney bloke, the more I realize he would fit right in over here across the pond. Not that we would want that goblinesque, ogreish imp.

Whoah whoah oh, whoah oh.

Wayne Rooney’s myriad sins get him burnt in effigy [Toronto Star]