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Off Topic: Court Rules McDonald’s Must Pay Former Fat Bastard Of An Employee $17.5K

In a ruling handed down Tuesday by a Brazilian court, McDonald’s has been ordered to pay a former employee $17,500 because the guy couldn’t stop shoving food in his mouth at work and subsequently gained 65 pounds over 12 years while employed at the fast food giant. F**k the heck?

Via Yahoo!/AP:

The 32-year-old man said he felt forced to sample the food each day to ensure quality standards remained high, because McDonald’s hired “mystery clients” to randomly visit restaurants and report on the food, service and cleanliness.

The man also said the company offered free lunches to employees, adding to his caloric intake while on the job. His identity was not released.

That’s nice and all that his identity wasn’t released to protect his flabby anonymity, but to actually award this fat bastard money because he couldn’t lay off the Big Macs is ridiculous. This is not a case of a coal miner getting cancer due to the brutal work conditions he was exposed to for 25 years. This is a guy who gained a little over 5 pounds a year over a period of 12 years, which is a bit much but not out of the realm of somewhat acceptable weight gain which could be attributed to getting older as well as a multitude of other factors. It’s not like the guy gained 50 pounds in 18 weeks or something. Goddamn Brazilians courts. At least our country’s judicial system isn’t flawed like that, amirite?

Actually, perhaps I should reassess my stance on this issue. Maybe more places of employment should be held liable for the adverse effects the products it sells or distributes have on its employees. I mean, look how I turned out after only working a couple of shifts at the ReLeaf Herbal Center in San Francisco. I’m a certifiable mess, man. Like, zoinks and s**t.

Judge: McDonald’s must pay obese employee $17.5K [Yahoo!/AP]