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Soccer Teams Of All Nations Should Beware The Curse Of The Black Voodoo Goat

Hey Cubs fans, you can take your silly goat curse and stick it where the sun don’t shine, although I’m not sure how one sticks a curse up one’s arse. Huh.

Moving on, quite the controversy has erupted in the world of African soccer last week after the 154th-ranked team from Niger somehow managed to upset defending champion Egypt in a qualifying match for the 2012 African Cup of Nations. How did the scrappy squad from Niger pull off such an upset? Voodoo, of course.

Nearby residents began to spread word that a “local witchdoctor” paraded a black goat around the pitch prior to the game, which, of course, cursed the Egyptian team, causing them to blow goats in their match, culminating in the humiliating defeat. Duh.

The whispers regarding black magic quickly spread to such a degree that a spokesman for the Confederation of African Football had to appear on a radio program to quell fears that the dark arts were wreaking havoc on the integrity of the competition.

Via the Toronto Sun:

“I really don’t see the reason why we are talking about some goat,” Abdul-Menem told Egyptian radio. “Of course it’s the match commissioner’s responsibility to make sure that only the players are on the pitch, but it’s no big deal after all.”

No big deal? No big deal? That is bad mumbo jumbo, my good man. Voodoo magic is nothing to be trifled with or taken lightly. Obviously, this Abdul-Menem fellow has never seen the classic horror film, The Serpent and the Rainbow. Look what that film did to Bill Paxton’s career. Or was that Bill Pullman? Either way, all I know is because of that accursed film, Bill Whomever didn’t land another solid acting role until he landed the part of Bob Harris in Lost In Translation. To work with Scarlett O’Hara must have been a truly remarkable experience.

Voodoo goat blamed for shocking loss [Toronto Sun]