Sportress of Blogitude

Olympics

Gold Medal-Winning Olympian Suspended For Using Boner Pills

Damn You Jimmy Johnson!!!

The United States Anti-Doping Agency announced today that LaShawn Merritt, a two-time gold medalist at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, has been suspended for using banned testosterone prohormones. Merritt has admitted that the discovery of the prohormones in his system during urine tests taken in October and December 2009 and January 2010 were due to his use of the erectile dysfunction medication, ExtenZe.

While the USADA conceded that “enhancing his sports performance was the last thing on Mr. Merritt’s mind when he purchased ExtenZe”  and that Merritt “demonstrated tremendous characted [sic] in making what had to be a painful and humiliating confession,” they nevertheless flaccidly meted out his punishment.

Merritt has been suspended for 21 months, retroactive to October 2009, the date of the first failed test. No matter which way you look at it, this is one harsh situation for Merritt. Not only can he not compete, but now the world is aware of the fact that he can’t get it up without popping a pill. That must be humiliating and I imagine Merritt would rather not show himself in public right now. If only they made a pill for head-droopage. No, I’m referring to the other head now.

‘Male enhancement’ pill gets gold medalist suspended [Game On!]