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Mike Tyson Is Aware That China Isn’t In Bolivian, Right?

So, there will be no fading for Tyson, unfortunately.

Nevertheless, as the once punishing boxer continues his efforts to reinvent himself, the great Mike Tyson can add yet another item to his list of accomplishments: self-appointing himself the Boxing Ambassador to China. Wait. What? How does one mange to name oneself an ambassador yet still make money off the designation? If it’s so easy, allow me to name myself the Official Good Time Ambassador to Jamaica.

Of course, the story behind Mike Tyson’s self-assigned title is strangely, um, strange. Could it be any other way?

Apparently, some Chinese company has hired Tyson to travel to their country to teach its citizens about boxing. If you’re confused, don’t worry, Iron Mike is as befuddled about this new gig as you are (via ABC News):

“I didn’t even know what an ambassador really was,” he said Thursday. “When I think of ambassadors I think of living off government money and jet-setting with girlfriends.”

The very same thing I believed an ambassador to be. So, what will Tyson’s itinerary be? That question was not answered during a news conference Thursday:

“Can we talk about what will take place on the trip?” someone asked.

“Yeah, tell me,” Tyson replied. “I’m pretty interested. I’m just as clueless as you. But I’m an ambassador so I should have some say.”

While there is clearly no real agenda for his trip to the Far East during which he will spread goodwill and pugilism, Tyson relayed at least one idea of what he would like to accomplish while in China and articulated it during the same news conference:

“Didn’t you guys have an altercation with the Japanese people at one time?” he asked Yang. “Here’s what you do: You go looking for a Chinese fighter who will beat the evil Japanese guy and get revenge. That will sell.”

His unconventional take on Asian history is incredibly insightful and compelling. At the same time, I am left to wonder whether Tyson is basing his negative characterization of the evil Japanese guy entirely on Piston Honda.

Tyson Plans to Be a Boxing Ambassador in China [ABC News]