Sportress of Blogitude

Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Fall On And Pancake A Woman At A Mets Game, Son

Even Sad Mets Fan Is Embarrassed

In court Thursday, Joshua Kelner, the attorney for the  victim of an alleged obsesealanche, Ellen Massey, argued that the Mets organization and the beer vendors within the team’s employ should be held liable for the injuries suffered by his client when the portly, inebriated Timothy Cassidy, another attendee at the Mets game in question, was so over-served on Opening Day in 2007 that after making a complete fool of himself, drunkenly stumbled and fell down – right on top of Massey. Cassidy was so drunk, in fact, that he was not only horribly slurring his words, he was also picking fights and ultimately, body splashing the poor woman, through no fault of her own – other than attending a Mets game, of course. I would contend that should make her somewhat responsible for her injuries, but hey, I’m no lawyer.

Via FOX Sports:

“He was unable to pronounce the word ‘Phillies’ or say ‘Let’s Go Mets,'” said Joshua Kelner, Massey’s lawyer.

Cassidy also was berating his fellow fans in the upper deck for not being loud enough, Kelner said.

“Why aren’t you cheering for the Mets? I’ll kick your (expletive) ass!” Kelner quoted him as saying.

That’s when things got out of control. But Carla Varriale, the Mets’ attorney, contends that it was a “rowdy, boisterous crowd” at Shea on that April day and Cassidy did not stand out to security, which I understand to mean that since everyone else in attendance was also a drunken miscreant, Fatty’s alleged behavior should be deemed acceptable by the Court simply in light of the anarchy which was occurring throughout the stadium. Killer legal argument.

Varriale continued:

“When you drop the ‘L’ in ‘Let’s Go Mets’ that does not mean slurring,” Varriale said. “He may have been obnoxious, but that’s not the same thing as challenging someone to a fight,” she added.

“‘I’m going to kick your ass is not a fight?” the incredulous judge responded.

Ooh. Burn. +1, incredulous judge.

Let us not forget about Cassidy’s lawyer, Brian O’Connor, and his role in the courtroom drama. O’Connor argues that his client was not drunk at all, instead, another fan, who was apparently so miffed at Cassidy for  paying too much attention to his Blackberry, pushed him down. With all due respect to attorney O’Connor, that argument completely contradicts the landmark “Hasbro v. Weebles” case of 1976 where it was ruled that, at least as far as the courts in the State of New York are concerned, while Weebles will wobble, they ultimately will not fall down.

Quite the dilly of a pickle of a case. I cannot wait to see how this one pans out.

300-pound fan sued after falling on woman [FOX Sports]