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Do You Believe In Miracles (No One Cares About)? U.S. Wins Gold At Equestrian Games

What in holy hell are those people doing in that photo? To inanely answer my own question, it is something called “vaulting” and the U.S. team shocked the equestrian-loving world (all 200 of them) by taking gold in the perplexing event on Sunday.

Instead of me clumsily attempting to explain this vaulting thing, here’s how the poor AP writer who got stuck with this assignment explained it:

Vaulting requires the athletes to perform gymnastic-like movements while on a moving horse. Germany won silver and Austria received bronze.

“This is immeasurable,” said Devon Maitozo, one of the gold medalists. “This is an amazing opportunity to put vaulting on the map in the United States. Maybe people will know the sport exists in small-town America. This is just a culmination of a lot of years of very hard work. The most amazing thing for me is to share this with my team. We have worked so hard.”

The team competition is made up of a compulsory test that requires vaulters to perform seven designated exercises as well as two freestyle tests. The Americans’ freestyle routine was a loose interpretation of Romeo and Juliet.

“We hoped to embody the essence of the play with our movement and some of characters,” said Rosalind Ross, who played Juliet.

I see. One question though: given the obvious equine-based nature of the World Equestrian Games, of all of Shakespeare’s plays, wouldn’t Richard III have been the better choice? For obvious reasons, at least to people like me who know maybe five lines of Shakespeare. To be honest, as far as great dramatists go, I have always been more of a fan of contemporary artists. Like Dick Enberg, for instance. “Oh my!” indeed.

US takes gold in vaulting [AP]