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Off Topic: Suck It, Linus van Pelt, This 1,674 Pound Bad Boy Truly Is ‘The Great Pumpkin’

South Dakota farmer Kevin Marsh stands next to his 1,674-pound pumpkin near Parker. To his right, his daughters Maddie and Autumn sit on a 1,536-pound pumpkin he grew. (AP Photo/Kevin Marsh)

Via an AP report:

PARKER, S.D. – This pumpkin weighs nearly enough to be Cinderella’s coach. South Dakota farmer Kevin Marsh of Parker knows his 1,674-pound pumpkin isn’t pretty — it’s won an ugliest pumpkin award at a Colorado event. But it’s also only 51 pounds shy of the world record listed by the Great Pumpkin Commonwealth.

It’s not the first big pumpkin Marsh has grown. One he grew earlier this year was 1,536 pounds, and he had one at 1,488 pounds last year.

Marsh says he doesn’t have any big secrets for growing behemoth squash. He says he buries vines as they grow so they get double the amount of roots, and uses a lot of organic fertilizers.

Damn! That sucker is friggin’ huge. If anyone was ever going to do a Barry Bonds-inspired Jack ‘o Lantern, they would be well-served by offering up some cashola to Farmer Marsh. For scale purposes, obviously.

1,674-pound SD pumpkin just shy of world record [Yahoo!/AP]
(image credit)